Love

I was watching a documentary the other day and the parents were seperating. They had a lot of struggles with their daughter's health, and mom said she realized that she just wasn't in love with her husband anymore.

Now, I obviously don't know the whole story, but it hit me hard. There have been several times in my marriage when I have felt the same way. And it is usually when we are going through trials.

When The Doctor was out of work and then working but incredibly unhappy, he was really depressed. He was moody and snappy and not very much fun to be around. There were times that I really wondered if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. I knew that deep down I really did love him, but I didn't like him very much.

I can hear everyone gasping and choking. But I'm sorry. It's true.

However...

Because we were sealed in the temple, I knew I had more to work towards. So I muddled through. And yes, at times, it felt like I was wading through a pool of muck and mud. But I did it because I knew that things had to get better.

And you know what? They did. It didn't happen overnight. But things eventually got better. We are still together and we are still in love.

I think that a lot of people want the same love that they felt when they were first married. You know, that gagging, sugar sweet lovey dovey stuff. Well, that doesn't last. Ever. You grow and mature and the love I feel for The Doctor today is deeper and more intense than I felt 17 years ago.

And that's a good thing.