If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

You can count how many seeds are in an apple, but you can’t count how many apples are in a seed.

Over the last 3 years, The Teenager has been going through a lot of struggles and trials.  I have mentioned it in some degrees, but it was hard.  Harder than anyone knew.  I felt so alone through it all, and Sunday, I realized why.

When my children were little and I was struggling with them, I knew there were many other mothers I could go to for advice.  Not sleeping through the night?  Potty training struggles?  Biting?  Diarrhea and vomiting?  I knew all I had to do was ask and there would be plenty of other women who could help me.  I even became part of an email loop of other SAHM moms, and we would whine and complain to each other and we would feel so much better.

But when I was struggling with The Teenager, I couldn’t go to anyone.  His trials were personal to him, and it’s not something that you broadcast publicly.  I talked to my mom some, but I kept a lot from her as well.  I could talk to my husband, but but he didn’t have the answers, and he was gone all day (and most nights).  I couldn’t talk to my email loop moms because none of them are LDS and don’t have the same standards as us, so they wouldn’t understand what the big deal was.

I was very isolated.  And I made it worse because I withdrew.  I quit going to Relief Society activities, mainly because it was too hard to put on a happy face and pretend that everything was fine.  It was a very lonely period in my life. I would cry during the day and then put on a happy face when I was around others.  I prayed a lot, and that definitely helped, but it’s not the same. I desperately wanted someone to talk to, to cry with, to comfort me. 

But there wasn’t anyone. 

A missionary is someone who spends time away from his loved ones so someone else can spend eternity with theirs.

The word pink dates back to the 1570s, when to pink was to create a small cut or perforation, such as on a decorated edge (think pinking shears).

The story of pink’s link to color is an incredible story of linguistic conversion. That’s the concise way to say the word started out as a verb, became a noun, and, after that, an adjective.

The Dutch associated pinck oogen, “small eyes,” with the small, delicate flowers of the carnation, whose petals look distinctly perforated or crimped. This lead to pink’s association with two more ideas: the color of the flower and the idea of the flower as perfection. Perfection is what Shakespeare’s Mercutio is referring to in Romeo and Juliet when he says, “Nay, I am the very pink of curtesie."

At the point where scholars pinpoint the first attribution of pink as a color, around 1681, people could not stop talking about it. In Elizabethan England, pink hose were all the fashion for men. Fortunately, Sumptuary Laws which determined the color of clothing people wore by their social status, made pink available to both the upper and lower classes.

In the 1920s pink started to be used for the marketing of products for boys. The color association was considered appropriate for boys, full of energy, not yet mature enough for the full heat of the color red. Conversely, baby blue was associated with girls as a soft, mild color, and one strongly associated with the Virgin Mary. Post-WWII these associations switched, with pink directed at products for girls and blue for boys


I have fallen in love with Pinterest!  And I love decorating for Halloween.  When I saw these cute pumpkins, I knew I couldn’t resist.  So I bought pumpkins, spray paint, and ribbons and went to town.  Tom thought I was insane, but I absolutely love how they turned out!


Speak only if it improves the silence.


After I got married, I was on birth control for 4 months, and then we decided that we were ready to start a family.  We tried for 4 months and then got pregnant with The Teenager.  With The Artist, I was on birth control for 9 months, and then we tried for 9 months before getting pregnant.  With The Chocoholic, I was on birth control for 12 months, and we got pregnant as soon as I went off the pill.  The very first month.  So when we decided we were ready to have baby #4, we knew it would be a piece of cake.  No big deal.  I had been on the pill for a year, so we knew we would be pregnant within a year. 

Well, 6 months came and went and we kept trying.  My cycle has never been regular, going anywhere from 3 weeks to 9 weeks between periods.  And they are very heavy.  I tried Clomid once, but at $25 for 5 pills, we couldn’t afford to do that again.  I had a D&C to make sure everything was okay, and it was.  I tried taking my temperature to see when I was ovulating.  I didn’t ovulate. 

A year came and went. Two years came and went.  3 years came and went.  Still nothing. I know that many people struggle with infertility for many more years than we did, but after 3 children, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t get pregnant. 

My doctor finally had a frank talk with me.  I have PCOS – PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Basically, I don’t ovulate regularly, and because of my weight, it aggravated the problem.  He frankly told me I needed to lose weight.  He had mentioned it before, but I hadn’t really listened.  But this time I did.  I started going to Weight Watchers and in 4 months, I lost almost 40 pounds.

December 2003 came and The Doctor and I talked and decided that we were both feeling that we want to be done having children. After going with my sister to take her 2 month old baby to the doctor and remembering the stress of having a baby who isn’t sleeping and not knowing what is going on, I just didn’t want to do it anymore. The Chocoholic was 5 now, and we had really enjoyed having older children. And I really didn’t want kids 5 years apart.

So we decided to fast and ask Heavenly Father if that was the correct decision.  But neither of us got a definite answer, so we decided to wait and keep praying about it.

The day after Christmas, I was a witch.  I was mean, mean, mean.  More so than normal.  And that usually means one thing.  The Doctor bought a pregnancy test and I took it the next morning.  Yep, I was pregnant.  Which meant that the kids would be nearly 6 years apart. Six. years.  That’s a long time.

It took us 3 1/2 years to finally get pregnant.  That’s a long time.  It was a very stressful time in our marriage.  I just wanted to be pregnant, which was a righteous desire.  But I had to wait.  I didn’t know why then, and I still don’t know why now.  I can give you several reasons why it would have been easier if I had gotten pregnant sooner.  But for some reason, it wasn’t to be.  I will just put it on my list in my head of things to ask my Heavenly Father when I die!


Elder Russel M. Nelson

A covenant is a sacred promise with God.

This is the time of the promised gathering of Israel.

When we are committed, we remain steadfast, even in the midst of affliction.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Jesus Christ is the Son of God.

Focus on Christ, not the things of the world.

What think ye of Christ? Where is our ultimate loyalty?

There is no middle ground!

Elder Matthew O. Richardson

Your mission is the best two years for your life.

The Holy Ghost is the real teacher of the truth.

We have the responsibility to teach by the Spirit.

We need to align our manner of teaching after the way the Spirit teaches.

The Holy Ghost teaches in a very personal way.  He does not teach all the truth right away.  Line upon line, precept on precept.

The Holy Ghost teaches by inviting, prompting, leading, guiding.  He Will not do for us what we can do for ourselves.

How can I help my children learn for themselves?

Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita

Missionaries, your attitudes and actions invite the Spirit.

Bring 3 things with you on your missions: 1. A desire to preach the gospel. 2. Develop your testimony. 3. Love others.

Elder Randall K. Bennett

Lifeguard story – the lifeguard was waiting for him to call for help, then he was right there.

Choice is a gift, decisions are a destiny.

You can’t make eternal choices without eternal consequences.

Choose to follow the Savior and choose to be with our Heavenly Father, or choose to follow the world and be separated from Him eternally.

The Savior’s arms of mercy are always open to us.

Your eternal destiny is not the result of chance, but of choice.

J. Devn Cornish

Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that the things which are important to us become important to Him.

“I the Lord will forgive whom I choose to forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”

Elder Quentin L. Cook

This life can be confusing if you don’t know the Father’s plan.

Adversity in this life does not reflect our faith.

There is no chance, no fate, no destiny, can circumvent, or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.

Regardless of the trials we face in this life, the Savior’s atonement provides lifeboats for all.

President Thomas S. Monson

Our Heavenly Father is mindful of the challenges we face.

Elder Henry B. Eyring

We need to be charitable witnesses of God.

As you serve others, He lets you feel of His love.

Be a constant and fearless witness of God.

Read the Book of Mormon, learn to love it, drink deeply and often from it’s pages.

*I need to forgive those who have hurt me.  I need to let it go and move on.

Elder Robert D. Hales

Tests and trials are given to us to see if we will use our agency to follow him.

Waiting on the Lord means to hope, to trust in the Lord, planting the seed of faith, nourishing it with prayer, stand fast, relying upon the merits of Christ, immovable upon keeping the commandments.

When He answers, it’s often answered here a little and there a little because we aren’t ready for it all at once.

When we pray for patience, we want it right now.

Don’t give up on the Lord – His blessing are eternal.

He knows your sacrifices and your sorrows.  He hears your prayers.

Sister Elaine Dalton

How can a father raise a daughter?  Love her mother.

Your example as her father is more important than leader’s words.

Be a guardian of virtue.

Be present in your daughter’s life.  Be an active part.

If she doesn’t come home on time, go get her.

Elder M. Russell Ballard

What is the importance of a name?

The members of the church are encouraged to use the full name of the church.  The name of the church tells others who we are.

I can be a Mormon, but I don’t belong to the Mormon church.  I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The use of the full name is increasingly important throughout the world.

President Thomas S. Monson

There was a moral disintegration in the 60’s.

Although the world has changed, the laws of God are constant.

Our code of conduct is not negotiable.

There is nothing that can bring more joy or peace into our lives than the Spirit which comes when we obey the commandments.

The storms wills till be at our doors, but we will be better equipped to handle them.

Communication with Heavenly Father is necessary to weather the storms of life.

God heals everything - but you have to ask Him.

Elder David A. Bednar

It is our responsibility to seek out our ancestors and do their work.

Youth can help too.  http://www.lds.org/familyhistoryyouth

Elder Neil L. Anderson

We have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth.

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling.  It is what God gave you time for. (Christian blog)

Elder Ian S. Ardern

Giving time to others brings us closer to God.

Time is never for sale, but wisely used, it’s value is immeasurable.

In family, love is spelled T-I-M-E.

The poor use of time is idleness.

Let us be as quick to kneel as we are to text.

Our greatest happiness comes as we tune into the Lord.

To have the peace the Savior speaks of, we must devote our time to things that matter most – things of God.

Satan will tempt us to miuse our time.

Elder Carl B. Cook

Heavenly Father is where we receive faith and strength to do all things.

Give your burdens to Heavenly Father and look to Him for strength.

“The Lord is my light, then why should I fear?”

Elder LeGrand R. Curtis Jr.

None can get to the Father’s presence without Christ’s help.

Fully repent and come back to God.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Repentance is a divine gift, it points to peace.

Invitation to repent is an expression of love.

Repentance means striving to change.  Real repentance may require repeated attempts.

Repentance means abandoning sin and committing to change.

Repentance requires willingness to change, even through pain.

Whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy.

Elder L. Tom Perry

Open houses of temples, members impress people.

What can we do to advance the church? 

Be bold in our declaration of Jesus Christ.

Be righteous examples to others.

Speak up about the church.  Mormon.org – create profile.  Use the internet and social media.

Elder Richard G. Scott

A memorized scripture can be an enduring friend.

Created an audio recording of himself reading the Book of Mormon for his children.  What an amazing gift that would be!

Sister Barbara Thompson

Personal Revelation – D&C 6

If your answer comes when Primary children sing, that’s revelation!

Because we have a strong testimony doesn’t mean it will always stay that way.  We need to nourish it and keep it strong.

President Thomas S. Monson

New Temples – Provo, Star Valley, WY

General patron assistance fund

Elder Jose L. Alonso

Do the right thing at the right time without delay.

Find those who are lost and rescue them.

Elder Boyd K. Packer

Crow poem

Youth are being raised in enemy territory (evil world)

Many of the temptations you face relate to your body.

Everyone who has a body has power over Satan.

Listen for the voice that is felt rather than heard.

It is not expected that you will go through life without making mistakes, but you will be warned before making them.

Listen to the voice of the Spirit and you will not be led astray.

Dress modestly, talk reverently

Lucifer will lose!

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

To lead us astray, Satan appeals to our weaknesses.

All the money in the world cannot buy a loaf of bread in the economy of heaven.

Discouragement – Satan gets us to believe we have no worth.

It doesn’t matter where we are in life, it matters that we are doing the best we can.

Incline your heart to him, help others.

Always remember you matter to HIm.

God loves the humble and meek.

You are not invisible to Heavenly Father.

What you feel now is not forever.