I hate getting dirty. I hate my hands dirty, I hate dirty kids, and I hate sleeping near dirt. Hence, I detest camping. My hands are always dirty, my kids are always dirty, and since we don't have a trailer, I have to sleep very close to the dirt.

I really don't see the point. I can sit in my backyard and enjoy the trees. I can turn off my phone and ignore life. And I can do all this and still be clean, and sleep in my comfortable bed and take a shower.

I feel guilty that my kids don't get to go camping, but too bad. So if anyone wants to take them when they go camping, they are more than welcome to!
I am not a political person. I don't get involved in politics, other than to vote. I don't enjoy talking about politics, and I definitely don't enjoy debating about them either.

So I am taking a bold step in the unknown for me.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have been all my life. I have a firm testimony of the gospel and all that it stands for.

Recently, the church came out and asked people in California to use their time and means to fight allowing gay marriage. I support my church in this request. While I don't live in California, I am opposed to gay marriages. I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman.

The church has published an interview with two of it's General Authorities on same-gender attraction. I believe it explains a lot on our views.

I encourage all of us with blogs to put this out there and show our support to our prophet, our church, and our Heavenly Father.
I remember when the teenager (The Teenager) was about 2 months old. It was the middle of the night and he wouldn't go to sleep. I was so tired and he was crying and nothing I did helped. I put him in his crib and went into the bathroom, turned on the bathtub so I couldn't hear him, and I just cried and cried and cried because I knew if I went back in to him, I would hurt him. I understood then how mother's could abuse their children. But I thought I was such a horrible mother. How could I feel that way? I was born and raised in the gospel. I wasn't supposed to have these kinds of feelings.

But you know what? After 16 years, I have learned that I am not alone. And neither are you. We are human. We all have times of frustration. It's how we handle that frustration that sets us apart. I am very proud of myself for not going in and hurting the teenager (The Teenager).

So, you are probably saying to yourself..."Big whoop. What does this have to do with Oprah?"

Well, I became a spanker...big time...to the point that it wasn't just spanking anymore. And it scared me. A lot.

So one day I was on Oprah's website, you know the part where they have all the topics they are working on and if you can relate to anything, you write in your story. So I did and they called me and a week later I was in Chicago with the teenager (The Teenager). It was crazy.

The title of the show I was on? Mothers Who Lose Control. Nice.

Remember how I have talked about not judging each other. I am going to fight that to the day I die, mainly because it is one of my biggest weaknesses.

But when I was getting ready to leave for Chicago, I picked up the chocoholic (The Chocoholic) from preschool and told his preschool teacher that I was going and why, and you know what she said?

"Oh, you don't spank, do you?"

Ouch. Stab a knife in my heart. So there was guilt from going on the show, and I hadn't even left yet! I had so many nice comments from being on it, though.

I talked to one woman who never had children because she grew up in an abusive home and didn't think she could be strong enough to break the cycle. And you know what? That's okay.

I talked to another woman who is strong in the gospel and a good "Mormon," yet she was struggling with abusing her children. She said that because of my story, she was going to get help. That made me cry.

So if people judge me and think bad of me, bring it on. Because if my story helped just one other person (besides me), then it was all worth it.

When I left Chicago and came home, I promised the doctor that I wouldn't spank anymore. And the chocoholic (The Chocoholic) tested me the very next day. I walked into his room to find him standing on his dresser in his underwear ready to jump off. I picked him up and took him into the kitchen and put him down in front of the doctor (The Doctor) and said, "You spank him because I promised I wouldn't!" LOL

Anyway, I have an entire scrapbook dedicated to my trip to the Oprah show. I would love to let you look at it. And I am proud to say that I don't spank anymore. the princess' (The Princess') life has been very different than my boys. And that is a good thing.
**editing note...I put their names in capitals in parentheses because of a comment received on my names posting. It was confusing, so I am trying to fix it. Someday I will get this all right!
So I am tired of just putting first letters for my family's names. Everyone uses such cute pseudonym's for their kids. So I have come up with fun names.

T is the doctor **edited T is The Doctor

t is the teenager **edited t is The Teenager
n is the artist **edited n is The Artist
c is the chocoholic **edited c is The Chocoholic
k is the princess **k is The Princess

Me? I'm the mom. **edited I'm The Mom
79 words

So today marks my 1 year anniversary of working. I hate working. I want to be home full-time. I want to snuggle with k after the boys have gone to school instead of taking her to babysitter.


Since I do have to work, I have to tell you how much I love my job. My job has been constantly evolving since I started.

When I was going to school to get my degree in Accounting, I discovered that I really didn't want to do accounting, I wanted to do bookkeeping. But I was a year into school and only had a year left, so I stuck it out and got my Bachelor's in Accounting. I graduated in 2000 and never used the degree. Until...

Our car broke down last June and we didn't have the money to replace it. So it was either go without a car that would hold our entire family, or me go to work. Crap. So after worrying about how I was going to get a job and what kind of job would it be, I was inspired to talk to Liz about her job. Liz is an accountant and recently adopted a baby, so she quit work. I called her after a while and talked to her about getting a job. I asked her if the place where she used to work was ever looking for part time help. Liz got really excited and said that Karin, her old boss, had just called her yesterday and asked Liz to work on a couple of files because she was so behind. Liz said that she would call Karin and tell her about me. I told her to be sure and tell her that I had no experience, but I did have my Bachelor’s degree. Liz called me back later and said that Karin is definitely interested in me and wants me to call tomorrow and set up an interview for probably next week.

I called the next day and they wanted me to come in that afternoon for an interview. That was good because I didn't have much time to freak out. I went in (completely nervous) and walked out 15 minutes later as a working mom. Not only that, but she wanted me to work afternoons, which is what I wanted, and she would pay me double what I was hoping for. It was the answer to so many prayers.

So Karin does taxes. I felt like a fish out of water for weeks. Everytime I thought I was getting it down, something would come up and I just wanted to cry. But Karin was so good to me and patient and understanding. Like when my brother-in-law Andy fell 75 feet and I just stood up and told her what happened and that I was leaving. She said okay. No questions, no repurcutions.

Anyway, I digress (not that you would know, but I just spent the last 1/2 hour reading my sister's blog from Andy's fall...he has come so far! You have to go read it!).

So, Karin shares an office with Delayne, who runs Small Business Connection. They do payroll and bookkeeping for small businesses. One day, after 1 1/2 months of working just for Karin, Delayne asked me if I wanted to help her do payroll. I had made it clear that I would love to do work from home, and Delayne told me that payroll is something I could definitely do from home. How cool is that? So I started doing payroll for Delayne, and gradually I started doing more work for her and less for Karin.

Around the end of August I started working 2 days a week from home. Even better! Then around the end of October, taxes totally dropped off and I was really concerned with how we were going to make our car payment. But Delayne talked to me about doing even more for her and that saved us.

So by the end of 2007, I wasn't doing much for Karin (and that's okay because I discovered that I really hate doing taxes!) and mostly working for Delayne (and that's okay because I discovered that I love doing payroll and bookkeeping!).

And now, I am only working 2 days a week away from home. I work Monday in the office, and on the same day I go to a client's business and do his bookkeeping. On Friday, I go to another client and do their bookkeeping. And on the other 3 days, I am kept busy with doing work from home. I really love what I do. I have 36 clients that I do all their payroll, plus doing bookkeeping for a bunch more.

Oh, and I have to mention the 2 wonderful women who are making this possible for me. My wonderful sister-in-law and my Bishop's wife, both of whom I trade babysitting for piano lessons. They are angels to me to watch k, because I know both of them have the means to just pay for the lessons outright, but are willing to serve me. Also the other two women who have helped me out. Thank you to you all!

I also have to mention my Heavenly Father. Everytime something has come up and I don't know how to handle it (a babysitter can't sit anymore, etc.), I just have to cry for a few hours, then turn it over to Heavenly Father and he will help me find a solution. My mother told me the following and boy, is it ever true:

"Heavenly Father can't take our trials away, but he makes them as easy as possible on us."

I could be working a much crappier job, with horrible work conditions, awful hours, and sucky pay. But I work at a great job, with a great boss, funny and smart and incredible co-workers, super hours, and better pay that I could ever have imagined. I still have days that I cry on my way to work, because I want my life back to how it was. But I try to remind myself that's not how it works. I can't look back. I have to look forward.
If you thought your hospital was bad, let me share the experience my cousin's wife had when giving birth to their 3rd child.

"This is the email announcing M.'s birth. None of it is made up, it's all true and all our personal experience. Afterwards LV clearly stated if we ever have a 4th, it will not be in England.

"Born in Milton Keynes England on December 1, 1997 at 11:15 am to LVD and JTD, a son, MTD.

"In the fashion of Dave Letterman’s nightly top 10 list we submit the following as a case study of social medicine at its best. This is taken directly from our experience in the new town of Milton Keynes England. Everything that follows is totally true and in our speaking with the native population very normal.

"The Dial's Top 10 reasons you want social medicine...

"10. PERSONAL PILLOW - Staffs concern for personalized comfort extends to specifically recommending you bring your own personal pillow -- or do without.

"9. Use of actual WORLD WAR 2 WHEEL CHAIRS means the dried blood on the foot rests is probably older than you are.

"8. COMMUNAL BATH TUB AND TOILET means no wasted plumbing. It also means no real privacy and possibly waiting in line.

"7. DRIP DRYING - After bathing the staff highly recommends the all-natural drip drying method. Alternatively you can bring your own towel.

"6. NO SIDE RAILS on the bed to interfere with a patient’s desire to fall on the floor while withering in pain during labor. After all who is going to fall out of a single bed while giving birth?

"5. NO WASTED MEDICATION - There were no shots, no pills and no epidural. In an apparent attempt to reduce cost there is no medication for pain even when requested. We made specific requests 1) a couple of weeks ahead of time, 2) on the morning of the birth via phone prior to arriving at the hospital and 3) repeatedly during labor. All are ignored in what we can only view as either a total lack of concern for the patient’s wishes or simple incompetence. One plus is that laughing gas normally used at the Dentist was available. This is of course closely regulated and monitored by the highly trained part time staff consisting of me, JTD.

"4. PERSONAL MEALS - Meals are brought to the communal room where you are expected to get out of bed, bring your child along and get it yourself. LV was less than impressed with the high quality of the prison food along with the portions sized for 9 year olds.

"3. RECYCLED TV SET - In the private post delivery room we requested and paid for, the TV set provided was in reality a vintage 1960's 9" black and white. The tuner was manual like found on a clock radio and the set was incapable of picking up anything at all other than snow.

"2. PAY PHONES - In what can only be viewed as an attempt to save on the patients hard earned money there are no phones in your room. If you want to make a call you can either go down the hall to a common area and stand in line or if the phone is not in use a staff member will wheel it into your room where you can feed it 50p pieces at an alarming rate.

"1. WARDS - In yet another attempt to reduce costs, the maternity wing consists of 4 wards of 6 or 8 beds each. For privacy each bed can be closed off from all others by simply pulling the suspended curtain in a circular fashion providing any new mother and child with all the peace and quite needed.

"Some general comments and observations on the social system and our experiences in the UK...
"During a pre delivery visit with a Dr., he commented that he would not want to practice medicine in the US because he was fearful of being sued. With the level of care they give here he is right. He would be sued. You’re just a number on their charts.

"There is no consistency with the doctors or midwives you see during your pregnancy. You see whoever happens to be working when you have your appointment. The same holds true for the actual birth. Unless there are complications you don’t even see a doctor and the delivery itself is handled by the midwife currently on duty. A few weeks prior to the birth LV specifically requested a particular doctor and was told in no unclear terms he was not going to be available to preside over her delivery. He was booked full. That is unless we were to option out of the NHS and go with private medical care. If we did this the same doctor was available and willing. Here, as everywhere else, money talks.

"We had a pre birth walk through of the maternity ward including the pre and post delivery faculties. On the way out I noticed dust balls rolling down the hall. LV later asked me if I had noticed the woman hobbling to the bathroom, her gown stained with fresh blood. Lucky for me I was busy counting dust balls.

"After the birth when we had had enough and decided to go home. The checkout process was both very simple and very unclear. Their PC was down and no one knew what forms needed to be filled out. It must have taken a good 30 minutes until finally we were cleared to go. Yet at no time did anyone check to make sure the baby we had was really ours or that LV was the mother of the child. Is it any wonder that less than a week later a baby was stolen from a hospital in Basilden to be reunited with her parents a few hours after a mass public appeal for help on both the TV and Radio?

"Enough said. We all survived and are doing fine. And it surely could have been worse.


Wow, what can I say, except God Bless the USA!
Okay, I have a question for you all.

I love to get comments on my posts. It gives me some strange validation!

However, I love to respond to your comments as well. Do you all come back and look at comments again? I know I don't after I have posted a comment on someone's blog.

So how should I respond? How do you respond?
Okay, I better clear things up.

No one in the last year has said anything to me about breastfeeding. My previous post was purely from long past experiences.

When I decided to quit breastfeeding child #2, I stupidly went in a chat room on AOL that was titled "Breastfeeding vs. Bottlefeeding." I am sure it was set up to discuss the pros and cons of each side, but when I went on, it was a total bottlefeeding bashing. I came away from there feeling like the world's worst mom. It was horrible.

But you know what? I am okay now.

I completely agree that breastMILK is best for the baby.

However, breastFEEDING is not always best.

I was a witch when I was breastfeeding. Ask my husband. It just wasn't for me. And it has taken me years to come to grips with that choice. But I was given a blessing after I stopped with child #3, and my Heavenly Father told me that I was fortunate to live in a day and age when I had a choice and that it was okay.

And that is good enough for me.

So I just want all women to allow all other women to make their own choices and to be okay with that.

We are all different.

And that's a good thing!

I hated breastfeeding!

My body, my choice.

I tried, I really did.

Child #1 lasted 3 1/2 months.
Child #2 lasted 6 weeks.
Child #3 lasted 3 weeks.
Child #4 never got the chance.

I hated sitting there. I hated being leeched on. I hated everything about it.

I loved bottle feeding.

I always snuggled with my baby. I never propped the bottle. My husband and my children could help me.

Does that mean my way is the right way? The only way?


Does that mean your way is the right way? The only way?


I was a much better mother when I wasn't breastfeeding.

And don't try to tell me that breastfed children are healthier because child #2 had 4 ear infections during the 6 weeks he was breastfed. Child #4 has had 1, count them, 1 ear infection in her whole life.

But does that mean that my way is the right way? The only way?


I love to hear about how breastfeeding came so naturally to you, or how you struggled with breastfeeding but was able to make it work, or how you chose to bottlefeed and are still suffering intense guilt from the feelings that maybe, just maybe you should have tried a little harder, but it's too late now.

But back off of me and open your mind a little and let's talk.

Can't we just try to get along?

So I gave birth to all 4 of my children naturally.

3 with Pitocin.

No epidurals (well, one, but as soon as it was in, I pushed the baby out).

No screaming.

No hours of pushing.

No naps.

No brain?


I chose to give birth this way. My choice. My body.

Does that make it the right way? The only way?


So why, when I tell people that I did this, do they think I am crazy?

Is their way the right way? The only way?


I don't bash on them for having epidurals, why do they bash on me for not having one?

When I went to the hospital, why did the nurses look at me like I was nuts when I told them I was going natural?

My choice, my body.

(However, my sister says it like this: When you go to the dentist for a root canal, do you say, "No thanks, I don't want any novicane. I want to go natural." LOL She does have a point!)

Child #1 - water broke, 3 hours later, started Pitocin, 7 hours of labor, two 1/2 doses of painkiller, didn't do anything, 20 minutes pushing: beautiful boy

Child #2 - 3 1/2 hours labor at home, started pushing, raced to the hospital, water broke in car, 6 minutes after arriving at hospital: beautiful boy

Child #3 - induced with Pitocin, 8 hours labor, begged for epidural, received epidural, immediately flipped over and pushed out child, epidural kicked in for stitches: beautiful boy

Child #4 - water broke, started Pitocin, 5 hours labor, 2 pushes: beautiful girl

I loved, loved, loved the feeling of pushing that beautiful child out into the world.

And if you chose not to do it that way, okay. Your choice. Just let me have mine in peace.

And if you had your children by adoption, that's okay too.

But when we are talking about births, don't clam up. Tell me your adoption story. Because children come into our lives in all different ways.

Does that make my way the right way? The only way?


So let's all get along.

Happy Anniversary, my love!
So, I keep volunteering to have "events" at my house, i.e. book group, recipe swap, etc. I don't know why because spend 3 hours the morning of the event cleaning like a mad woman. And then I spend the rest of the day yelling at my kids (and my husband) to not make a mess or I will beat them all.

Is it worth it? Do the women who come even notice how immaculate it is and understand that it's not normal? 99% of the time they never even use the bathroom, but if I didn't clean it, someone would use it and I would be mortified. (Why can't men clean up after themselves?)

Anyway, we are having book group here at my house tonight and I finally finished cleaning. Have I read the book? No. I should have spent the last 3 hours reading it, but instead I will have a clean house tonight.

Let me know how the book was!

You Are 20% Weird

Not enough to scare other people...

But sometimes you scare yourself.

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

15% Upper Midwestern

5% Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Dixie

This is my Dad.
He loves to take pictures. We teased him so much that for a while, he quit taking them. But we convinced him that we were teasing him out of love. Plus we realized that we had all quit bringing our cameras when we got together because we knew he would take them, and suddenly no one had pictures! LOL
He is a work horse. I remember growing up and working in the yard on Saturdays and working until 9:00 at night. I hated it then, and have completely rebelled against it as an adult, but I am so grateful that he taught me to work hard. Because when I do have a huge project to do (sod from their yard to ours) and I am hurting and sore and crying, I keep going because I know I will be so glad that I did.
He makes the BEST cheese-egg sandwiches. My kids love to sleep over there because they know they will get his world famous cheese-egg sandwiches for breakfast, and possibly lunch! They are so good. And no matter how hard I try, I just can't make them the same as he does. Or maybe it's just because I had to make them, and didn't have someone serve me!
My dad has a firm testimony of the church. He knows the gospel is true, and I know he knows. I love that. I love that he holds and honors his priesthood. I never doubted that growing up. I knew (and still know) that if I ever needed a blessing, I could ask him and he would be willing.
So Daddy, I love you. Thank you for everything. You are my hero.
What were you doing ten years ago?

Let's see, 1998. In January I went back to school to get my degree in Accounting. In February I went off the pill because it had taken me 9 months to get pregnant the last time. In March I got pregnant. In June I celebrated my 6 year anniversary. In July we went to Sugarhouse Park for the fireworks (for the first and LAST time...1 hour and 15 minutes to get home!). In August we discovered we were having another boy, and we discovered that he had hydronephrosis. Not what I wanted, but I got over it. In September I sent Taylor to school (preschool) for the first time. I bawled! In October we filled our freezer with 267 pounds of beef. In November we signed the papers to buy (build) our first house. In December I had c, our third child. We also lost our house, due to the builders being complete idiots and trying to cheat FHA.

What are 5 things on your to-do list today?

1. Dig up sod from my parents house.

2. Lay sod at my house.

3. Get mulch from dump.

4. Lay mulch around my garden boxes.

5. Make bread.

What are your favorite snacks?

I love Cheetos. Love them. Too much. I also love fresh fruit...more than Cheetos.

Places you have lived...in order, counting all your moves

Provo, Utah; Orem, Utah; Shelley, Idaho; Idaho Falls, Idaho; Idaho Falls, Idaho; Great Falls, Montana; Great Falls, Montana; Idaho Falls, Idaho; Idaho Falls, Idaho; Rexburg, Idaho; West Valley City, Utah; West Valley City, Utah; Rexburg, Idaho; West Valley City, Utah; Provo, Utah; Provo, Utah; West Valley City, Utah; West Valley City, Utah; West Valley City, Utah; West Valley City, Utah; Our Current house
And no, those are not repeats. They are all different moves!

Five things you would do if you were a billionaire?

1. Quit work and scrapbook all the time!
2. I would pay off all my debts and all my families debts.
3. I would build the house of my dreams, complete with a family room big enough to have a pool table.
4. I would enroll my children in swimming lessons, art lessons, soccer, voice lessons. All the things they want to do now, but we can't because we have no money.
5. Give chunks to my Bishop to give to people when they need help. We have had people anonymously give us money and it just really lifts your spirit when everything seems to be going the wrong way. I would also mail gift cards to people who are struggling, like someone did for us (if it was you, THANK YOU!).

5 people you want to know more about.

1. I love to hear people's life stories, so anyone in my ward!
2. Mary
3. Eve
4. My Grandma Christensen (who died 20 years ago)
5. Emma Smith

What are your favorite scents?

Sawdust, baby powder, citrus, the smell of rain in the air, coming home from church on Fast Sunday and smelling supper in the crock pot, clothes dried on a clothesline, books, mimeographed papers (remember, the blue ones?), magic markers.

What are your favorite games?

Phase 10 dice, Strategy, Uno, Rummikube.

Okay, your turn. I tag anyone who is reading this! Remember, I want to know all about you!
You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.

You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.

Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.

A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.
Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.

Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.

If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.
Boys grow their fingernails long because they're too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boys arm.
Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.
By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.
Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.

Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the VCR after they've watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie three times in a row.

When boys get mad, they hit someone, and then they get over it. When girls get mad, they pout, they cry, they mope, they sigh, they stew about it for HOURS!
You buy clothes for boys because they have to wear them. You buy clothes for girls because they are cute, because it's just the right color, because it has this really cute bow on the side, because when you looked at it you said, "Awwwww!"
Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.