Thankful #23

I am thankful for humor.  I love to laugh, and I love a good joke.  For instance:

How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb? It depends!

If it is the Bishopric, forget it, they don't do light bulbs. They call a Priesthood Executive Council and delegate it to the Elders.

If it is the Elders, it takes four. Three that don't show up, and one to change the bulb.

If it is the High Priests, it takes four. Two to push the wheel chairs, one to handle the oxygen tank, and one to screw in the light bulb.

If it is the Relief Society it takes four. One to fix refreshments, one to bring the tablecloth, one to design the Center Piece, and one to screw in the light bulb.

If it is the Home Teachers, it only takes two, but you have to wait until the end of the month.

If it is the Primary, it takes twelve. Four Cub Scouts to do the job and pass off a requirement, one Den Leader to sign their books, three children to hold up pictures, one chorister to lead everyone in a song, two Primary Teachers to assist, and one Member of the Presidency to oversee the activity.

If it is the Young Men and Young Women, it only takes one. He/She holds the light bulb in the socket and the whole world revolves around him.

Trees

This is what happens when you try to use a ball to get a ball to get a ball to get a ball that is stuck in tree.

Meow!

Many years ago, we were visiting The Doctor’s hometown.  We were at his parent’s church house, which is in a very rural area.  We stayed there for several hours, and then we headed for their house.

As we were driving along the gravel roads, we heard a cat mewing.  We pulled over and checked under the car and around and didn’t see anything.  We got back in the car and headed out, but again, we heard a cat.

We pulled over once more and we were checking under the car and heard the cat.  We opened up the engine and a cut jumped out and went flying down the road.  It must have climbed under the car and up into the engine to get warm and then couldn’t get out when we took off. 

We laughed about that for weeks!

Off

I think I'm a little off today.

First, after I showered, I dried the left leg first. 

I NEVER dry the left leg first! 

I always dry the right leg first!  It completely threw me off. 

Then when I did laundry, I did darks first, then my towels, and then my whites. 

I NEVER do darks first! 

I always do whites, then darks, then towels. 

I think my day is ruined!  I feel completely out of sorts! 

Women are Angels

Women are angels.

And when someone breaks our wings, our spirit, or our hearts...

we simply continue to fly on a broom stick.

We are flexible like that.

What I Believe In

I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape.

(Quote from Lost)

 

Dad Life

We focus so much on being moms and motherhood, that Dads get left in the dust.  This is an awesome video that will give you a chuckle.  I love my hubby!


Dad Life from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

April Fools!

I had so much fun yesterday with my kids!  I put messages on toilet paper in the toilet bowl, I put saran wrap in doorways, and we filled a cupboard with balls, so when The Teenager opened it, they all came falling down on him!

But the best thing of all was dinner.  The Doctor and I made a special dinner for them.  Included was:

Green peas (taffy);

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches (angel food cake toasted, with icing);

Sushi (angel food cake topped with coconut, wrapped with grape fruit leather, and topped with chopped up swedish fish);

and cupcakes (meatloaf topped with mashed potatoes).

Oh, we also served them “water” which was actually Kool-Ade.  They have invisible Kool-Ade that is completely clear!  It was awesome!  The Doctor and I served them in the living room, and really made it fun.

It was such a fun day! 

I have serious issues…

…with “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” 

Grandpa Joe has been in bed for 20 years (along with the 3 other grandparents).  Charlie’s mom has been working her fingers to the bone doing other people’s laundry to provide for all of them. 

After Charlie starts working delivering his newspapers, he buys bread for his family, and then gives money to Grandpa Joe to buy tobacco. 

Really?

And then when Charlie finds the golden ticket, does he ask his mother to go with him to the factory?  No, he asks Grandpa Joe.  Grandpa Joe, who has been in bed for 20 years and couldn’t work, suddenly can walk and dance and get dressed and go to the factory.

I feel sorry for Charlie’s mother. Yes, it’s just a movie.  And now I think I need some therapy!  LOL

13 x 7 = 28?

I like things that are exact and precise. 
I have always been really good at spelling.  There is a right way to spell a word, and every other way is wrong.  You just have to know the right way and you are set.
In math, 13 x 7 always equals 91.  No matter what (well, unless you are watching Abbott & Costello!).

But I digress.
I didn't really care for English class.  When I wrote an essay, the grading was too subjective.  You can get a different grade, depending on if the teacher is in a good mood or a bad mood, or just doesn't like you.  And it's hard to argue the grade.
In math, it doesn't matter what the teacher's mood is, 13 x 7 = 91.  Period.
I realized last night that this is why I hate doing taxes so much.  You have deductions and contributions and different tax rates and you are always trying to manipulate the bottom line.  It is very frustrating.
Just keep me in bookkeeping.  I am very happy there!

Nutcracker...again

I know, I know. I posted this last year. But I just had to repost it. Gather your kids around and enjoy!

Fun videos

Have you seen these? 
More than 200 dancers were performing their version of "Do Re Mi", in the Central Station of Antwerp. with just 2 rehearsals they created this amazing stunt! Those 4 fantastic minutes started the 23 of march 2009, 08:00 AM. It is a promotion stunt for a Belgian television program, where they are looking for someone to play the leading role, in the musical of "The Sound of Music".

This one is so cool because you can tell the girl is genuinely surprised.  I was crying at little bit at the end!

Then, as I was searching for more videos, I discovered this site: Improv Everywhere.  It is awesome!  Here is a sampling.

This next one, German Mirror Prank is hilarious!

Finally, I'm sure you've all seen the video about a mom's day sung to the William Tell Overture.  Well, here is the dad's song.  Awesome!

Speaking of addictions...

...this goes along with yesterday's post. I thought it was quite funny.

"I know I'm fat. Don't try to sugarcoat it, or I'll eat that too!"

A True Princess!

Dear Tech Support: Husband 1.0 Not Working

Dear Tech Support,

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications (which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0).
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.  Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.  I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.  What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
———————-  
Dear Desperate,
First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: “ithoughtyoulovedme.exe” and try to download Tears 6.2 (and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update).  If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the  application Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.  But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,  Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 status. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Pot Belly Beta. 
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)  Also, do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program.  These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. 
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.  You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7
Good Luck,
Tech Support

Edward vs. Buffy

This is so funny!

What is this?

Need a better clue? Try this one.

Still not sure? Here you go.

I shredded my keyboard. Yep. Shredded. My shredder is right at my feet, and somehow I got papers on top of the cord as I stuck them down to be shredded and suddenly the keyboard flew off. Fortunately my shredder is okay, but I had to get a new keyboard. I will never live this one down!

Run, run, as fast as you can!

The purpose of this post is not to get preachy. So keep reading!
In our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (you may know us as the Mormons), we partake of the Sacrament every week in remembrance of the Savior's sacrifice for us. Young men who are worthy are given the Priesthood at the age of 12 and become a Deacon. So when The Artist turned 12, he received the Priesthood.
One of his duties is to help pass the sacrament. Shortly after he was ordained a Deacon, he was passing the sacrament. When each young man is done with his section, he will go stand in line and wait for the other young men to finish. Then they will all go to the sacrament table together.
Well, The Artist is easily distracted. This day as he was standing in line, waiting for the other boys to finish, he was observing a family and watching their little children. He was not paying attention to the line.
The other boys finished, the line moved, and he stood there watching the family next to him. Suddenly, he looked up, realized that he was supposed to be up at the front, and ran to join the other boys.
Ran.
In church.
In Sacrament Meeting.
In the middle of the Sacrament.
The Doctor and I were laughing so hard. Not out loud...quietly. But our whole bodies were shaking from trying to hold it in. I thought I was going to bust.
I will remember that my whole life.

Milky Minutes

I love, love, love this commercial.  When he says, "Isn't your sister lactose intolerant?" and the boys stifle their laughs, I just laugh out loud.  My sister is lactose intolerant!  Anyway, I needed a good laugh tonight.

Oh, Suck!

Whoo Hoo! I figured out how to upload from my digital video camera to my computer, converted the file, and then uploaded the movie to YouTube so I could post it here. I'm tired! LOL
Go in to 2:27 and see my son embarrass himself. And please ignore the cackling behind the camera. Someone forgets that she sounds like a shrew when recording!