Fe = Iron
Male = Man
Female = Iron Man
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
The Secret Heart
by Claire Helmers (c)1997 all rights reserved
I wonder, if you know how much I need your love.
How much I crave a compliment, how much I want a hug.
I wonder if you share my fear of always falling short
Of thinking I’m the only one with faults and sins and warts.
Do you, like me, put on a face that says your life is swell,
But shake and tremble deep inside that fragile outer shell?
Please don’t be fooled by my facade, I’ve worn it now for years
But often, just below my smile, my throat is full of tears.
Are you convinced that others here are worthier than you?
They know the gospel, pay their tithes, and shine in Sunday School
Their kids don’t fight, their house is clean, they never raise their voice.
You’d gladly trade your life for theirs, if you just had a choice.
Well, please remember, sisters dear, that life’s not all it seems.
The lives that other women live are only in your dreams
They worry, struggle, cry and pray, and never have enough
Of love from women like yourself, of gentle female stuff.
I need your love like you need mine; I need forgiveness too
For falling short of my ideals, and wishing I was you
So if you like me, tell me so, just tell me to my face
I need to hear that, oh so much: I need your warm embrace.
Do you like my dress, my smile, the lesson I just gave?
Well, tell me every Sunday, please; I’d love it if you rave.
You see, I’m not as smart or strong or good as you may think;
Life gets me down; you’d be surprised how low my moods can sink.
Well, who am I? I’m everyone—I’m every woman here
Who needs a friend, a confidante, a non-judgmental ear,
Who wants to feel important and to know somebody cares,
Who needs to feel she’s up to all the burdens that she bears.
So please don’t be afraid of me; draw near to me instead,
Pour out your heart and soul to me and get inside my head.
Let’s be a whole fraternity of inter linking hearts.
That’s how the Savior planned it, if we each just do our part.
Singing in the choir for the General Relief Society Meeting was so amazing. To sing for our prophet and for all the women of the world. It was so emotional and spiritual. I wish everyone could have that experience. I know it took a lot of time for the practices (every Sunday night from 6:30-9:00 for 6 weeks). But it was so worth it!
This is a panoramic shot of the choir. 360 women strong. What an inspiring group!
Now a couple of gratuitous shots of me. LOL I am humbled to be numbered among these women. Starting from the top row, count down 4 rows and I am the second person to the left.
See the woman with the orange hair? I am right above her head. I loved the variety of women that were represented in the choir: young and old, fat and thin, blonde, brunette, red, orange and black hair. But we are all Sisters in Zion.
This is Sister Jolley, our amazing director. She is so funny and inspiring. I love her.
During the broadcast, I tried to keep smiling because you never know when the cameras will be on you. There were some women who counted and were bragging that they were shown more than others, but it wasn't about how many times we were shown on TV. It was about sharing our testimonies through song. And to me, that is the best way to share it!
I hope you were able to watch and hear the messages of hope and inspiration. If not, go HERE and you can read the talks or watch the meeting. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for allowing me this experience.
Women are angels.
And when someone breaks our wings, our spirit, or our hearts...
we simply continue to fly on a broom stick.
We are flexible like that.
And when someone breaks our wings, our spirit, or our hearts...
we simply continue to fly on a broom stick.
We are flexible like that.
A Woman's Lifeline (As quoted from M Russell Ballard.)
"Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a queen.
"Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.
"Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an ugly duckling (Mom I can't go to school looking like this today!)
"Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but decides
she's going out anyway.
"Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going out anyway.
"Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but says, "At least I am clean," and goes out anyway.
"Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am what I am" and goes wherever she wants to go.
"Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.
"Age 70: She looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter, and ability and goes out and enjoys life.
"Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.
"The moral is, maybe we should all grab that purple hat a little earlier."
"Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a queen.
"Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.
"Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an ugly duckling (Mom I can't go to school looking like this today!)
"Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but decides
she's going out anyway.
"Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going out anyway.
"Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but says, "At least I am clean," and goes out anyway.
"Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am what I am" and goes wherever she wants to go.
"Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.
"Age 70: She looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter, and ability and goes out and enjoys life.
"Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.
"The moral is, maybe we should all grab that purple hat a little earlier."
After I published my last post, I realized that I should have put that one in my journal instead of my blog. And I did not put it out there in an attempt to get praise and acclaim.
But you were all there. And you loved me, and you helped me. And I feel better.
That is what sisterhood is about. We lift each other up and help each other up when we are down.
Thank you.
But you were all there. And you loved me, and you helped me. And I feel better.
That is what sisterhood is about. We lift each other up and help each other up when we are down.
Thank you.
How to Shower like a Woman
1. Take off the fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning because there was a distinct chill in the air due to the temperature dropping below 73 degrees. Carefully fold and place in clothes hamper.
2. Walk to bathroom. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh immediately.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
4. Position the shower nozzle away from you and turn on water.
5. Get in the shower, once you have found it through all that steam.
6. Look for face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
7. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
8. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
9. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
10. Watch fallen hair accumulate on drain & fret.
11. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub until red.
12. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
13. Complain bitterly when you realize that your husband has once again been eating your Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
14. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off).
15. Shave armpits and evaluate if there is time left for legs.
16. Slick hair back and pretend you're like Bo Derek in 10.
17. Use pumice stone to soften rough spots on feet.
18. Use massage mitt to reduce cellulite on thighs.
19. Use nailbrush to clean toenails.
20. Scream loudly when your husband runs faucet and you get a rush of cold water.
21. Cover your entire body in baby oil.
22. Turn hot water on full and rinse off, making shower dangerously slippery for husband.
23. Dry with a towel the size of a small African country.
24. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a spot, or new hair in an uncommon place.
25. Apply body lotion from the neck down. Moisturize, Moisturize!
26. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh immediately, and then rush to bedroom.
How to Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your wife along the way, flash her.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs.
4. Turn on the water, get jet blast in ear because you left on the shower nozzle yesterday.
5. Check for pecs again.
6. Get in the shower.
7. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (You don't use one.)
8. Wash your face (not compulsory).
9. Whistle a few bars of the Irish Spring song.
10. Wash your armpits (not compulsory).
11. Wash your groin area (compulsory).
12. Wash your behind (eh, whatever...)
13. Cough up anything that might be lodged in the back of your throat, like a fur ball, cat, beer top.
14. Shampoo your hair with the blue bar of deodorant soap. (no need for conditioner).
15. Make a shampoo Mohawk. That's cool!
16. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror.
17. Sample your wife's Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake bodywash. Ummm..Nice!
18. Pee. (In the shower.)
19. Blow your right nostril.
20. Blow your left nostril.
21. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
22. Return to the bedroom wearing a towel, if you pass your wife, flash her.
23. Throw towel on floor.
1. Take off the fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning because there was a distinct chill in the air due to the temperature dropping below 73 degrees. Carefully fold and place in clothes hamper.
2. Walk to bathroom. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh immediately.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
4. Position the shower nozzle away from you and turn on water.
5. Get in the shower, once you have found it through all that steam.
6. Look for face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
7. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
8. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
9. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
10. Watch fallen hair accumulate on drain & fret.
11. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub until red.
12. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
13. Complain bitterly when you realize that your husband has once again been eating your Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
14. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off).
15. Shave armpits and evaluate if there is time left for legs.
16. Slick hair back and pretend you're like Bo Derek in 10.
17. Use pumice stone to soften rough spots on feet.
18. Use massage mitt to reduce cellulite on thighs.
19. Use nailbrush to clean toenails.
20. Scream loudly when your husband runs faucet and you get a rush of cold water.
21. Cover your entire body in baby oil.
22. Turn hot water on full and rinse off, making shower dangerously slippery for husband.
23. Dry with a towel the size of a small African country.
24. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a spot, or new hair in an uncommon place.
25. Apply body lotion from the neck down. Moisturize, Moisturize!
26. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh immediately, and then rush to bedroom.
How to Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your wife along the way, flash her.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs.
4. Turn on the water, get jet blast in ear because you left on the shower nozzle yesterday.
5. Check for pecs again.
6. Get in the shower.
7. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (You don't use one.)
8. Wash your face (not compulsory).
9. Whistle a few bars of the Irish Spring song.
10. Wash your armpits (not compulsory).
11. Wash your groin area (compulsory).
12. Wash your behind (eh, whatever...)
13. Cough up anything that might be lodged in the back of your throat, like a fur ball, cat, beer top.
14. Shampoo your hair with the blue bar of deodorant soap. (no need for conditioner).
15. Make a shampoo Mohawk. That's cool!
16. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror.
17. Sample your wife's Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake bodywash. Ummm..Nice!
18. Pee. (In the shower.)
19. Blow your right nostril.
20. Blow your left nostril.
21. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
22. Return to the bedroom wearing a towel, if you pass your wife, flash her.
23. Throw towel on floor.
This is the funniest video ever! And it is so true! Enjoy.
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