What makes a person have good self esteem? Because I don't have it. I have lousy self esteem.
I am constantly putting myself down. I'm fat, I need a hair cut, my house isn't as clean as I want it, I not pretty enough, I have a zit, I'm eating too much, I'm a fat cow, etc. I say it in my head all the time.
I know that I shouldn't. But how do I stop? I can't look in the mirror and say, "I am beautiful." Because I will just laugh out loud. I don't believe it.
I want to be one of those women who can walk with their heads up and look people in the eye.
So how do I increase my self esteem? I don't know how.
But I am tired of hating myself.
Tired.
10 comments :
Self esteem is a subject I don't understand either. It's frightening what goes around in my head at time and if I told other people the things I tell myself I would be the biggest jerk on the planet. Look in the mirror, say you're beautiful. Laugh if you must but KEEP SAYING IT!!!! One day you won't laugh and you'll feel it as truth.
Oh sweetie! You have so much to offer. What's not to love?
I wish I knew where it came from and how to pass some long to you. But from where I sit, you have nothing to feel bad about:)
I'm just as bad about bringing myself down and telling myself what an idiot I am for whatever reason.
I think your beautiful person inside and out. Your house is probably much cleaner than mine. I'm also pretty sure your probably a very awesome mom to some great kiddos!
I think this is something everyone struggles with at one time or another in their life. Sadly, it probably happens too often.
I know you didn't post to get praise or compliments, but it never hurts to hear some good things about yourself so let me write some: first, you are a daughter of God, created in His image- perfection; you have gorgeous, thick, straight blonde hair that always looks so healthy and shiny; you have a great smile; you are so musically talented- play the piano, sing, lead music to the primary kids in a way that makes them want to sing on their own at home (holy cow- that's huge for Gavin); you organize and scrapbook so well; you have a way to make others feel good- send cards at the right moment, remember their b-days, support activities, etc.; you will do anything to help your family. These are just a few. I know there is no quick solution for this problem. It's on-going, some days might be better than others, but try to look for the goodness you offer- because it's a lot. :)
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I think a lot of people have that mean inner voice, and what helps me is to look at the people I love - my husband, especially - and to remember what a smart, talented guy he is. Would he love someone who wasn't at least pretty okay? And once I realize that he likely wouldn't, than I realize that most of the mean stuff I'm saying just isn't true at all.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about why we as humans and, especially, as women are so hard on ourselves. We are so mean to our psyches! I think a lot of that has to do with the worldly pressures we put on ourselves. I get confused with all those "self" phrases: self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-image. Oftentimes, I might have a negative self-image, but my self-worth is intact. Sometimes I have self-confidence, sometimes I don't. I'm rambling.... Not that I know how to do this, but I've been thinking a lot lately that we just need to be kinder to ourselves. How? I don't really know. One of my favorite sayings is "Fake it till you make it!" So fake it till you make it! You are wonderful, Camille.
Mirror work is great! Keep telling yourself you're beautiful and wonderful and good enough until you can look yourself in the eye and start to believe it. Want a great book to give you some practice? 'How to Heal Your Life' by Louise L. Hay - it's amazing and gets you thinking as well as doing. It's helped me tremendously and I re-read it over and over.
Camille, you are wonderful and loved. Think of how much we love our children, flaws and all - unconditionally. Try to turn it around on yourself. Love you!
I have self-esteem issues, too. But then again, a lot more people than we realize probably do too. I can't do the mirror thing either...but I have gotten better about focusing instead on something I know I do well. For me, it's singing and being kid-friendly. I know for a fact that I can sing really well. And I can make almost any kid any where at any time happy. Those are 2 of the great gifts God has given me. (I'm not trying to sound boastful here...I hope it doesn't sound that way!) But when I'm at a low point, I try to think about those two things and get "pumped up" about them. I know for a fact that you're an awesome scrapbook-er. So go pull out your favorite book, look at each page and remember how much time and effort you put into it, how much fun you had doing it, and how GREAT it is! :-)
You must hide it well because you were never someone I thought had low self-esteem. You seem to have it all put together! As I was reading Heidi's comment, I was nodding my head in agreement with all the things she listed about you. You are SO good at SO many things, and I wish I was more like you! I don't know the answers either, but I know that service is a good way to help me forget about my issues and my problems, and focus on helping someone else. Then I feel a little better about myself. Like some of the others commented, it's an ongoing thing, it seems most women struggle with, but remember you're a daughter of God, and SO many people love you, just the way you are!
My dear sweet daughter. remember that not only does Heavenly father exist and love you. But Satan also exists and despises you. He would have you think all those horrible thoughts about yourself. I wonder how Heavenly Father sees you. As your mother, I know what a wonderful, sweet, patient, kind, person you are. can you imagine what Heavenly Father thinks. YOu are His daughter too. Don't let Satan's proddings get to you. Look at yourself through our Father's eyes. You'll see great strength and beauty.--Mom
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