I am thankful for my parents. Today is their 42 anniversary! They have set such great examples for me and my children. I can only hope my testimony is as strong as theirs someday. I love you Mom and Dad!
Showing posts with label Mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mothers. Show all posts
I love the new show on ABC called "The Middle." Each child has such a unique personality. It is so hilarious.
hilarious
However, Wednesday night's episode really got under my skin. The mom (played by Patricia Heaton) realized that she was nagging and yelling too much, so decided that she needed to stop. She was going to trust her children.
Then things started to unravel. They all at various points forgot to do something, and blamed her for it. So she swooped around fixing things and enabling them.
You can't do that. First off, you have to teach your children to take responsibility. And then you have to step back and let them grow. And sometimes that means they will fail. But that is how they learn.
For instance...
The Teenager likes to turn off his alarm clock and go back to sleep. Well, this year, he is taking early morning seminary which starts at 6:20. The Doctor leaves for work at 6:00 and will give him a ride if he is up and ready.
However, if he is not upstairs ready to go, The Doctor leaves, and The Teenager has to walk to school. In the dark.
Now, I know a lot of you are thinking, what horrible parents, making their child walk to school. In the dark. But if I gave him a ride, what would that teach him? That it's okay to sleep in because Mommy will be there to fix it.
I will not be there when he is in college. I will not be there when he goes on his mission. He has to learn now. And guess what? He is learning. He has only had to walk to school 2-3 times.
Now, don't go thinking I am some kind of wonder mom. Because it is just this year that I realized that I had been enabling him. I had been waking him up and yelling because he slept in. But I have learned. And my other kids are learning too.
hilarious
However, Wednesday night's episode really got under my skin. The mom (played by Patricia Heaton) realized that she was nagging and yelling too much, so decided that she needed to stop. She was going to trust her children.
Then things started to unravel. They all at various points forgot to do something, and blamed her for it. So she swooped around fixing things and enabling them.
You can't do that. First off, you have to teach your children to take responsibility. And then you have to step back and let them grow. And sometimes that means they will fail. But that is how they learn.
For instance...
The Teenager likes to turn off his alarm clock and go back to sleep. Well, this year, he is taking early morning seminary which starts at 6:20. The Doctor leaves for work at 6:00 and will give him a ride if he is up and ready.
However, if he is not upstairs ready to go, The Doctor leaves, and The Teenager has to walk to school. In the dark.
Now, I know a lot of you are thinking, what horrible parents, making their child walk to school. In the dark. But if I gave him a ride, what would that teach him? That it's okay to sleep in because Mommy will be there to fix it.
I will not be there when he is in college. I will not be there when he goes on his mission. He has to learn now. And guess what? He is learning. He has only had to walk to school 2-3 times.
Now, don't go thinking I am some kind of wonder mom. Because it is just this year that I realized that I had been enabling him. I had been waking him up and yelling because he slept in. But I have learned. And my other kids are learning too.
I have put my kids and husband first in so many things. Dental work, clothes, haircuts, etc. I have put myself on the back burner so many times.
My mom taught me that we need to take care of ourselves too. She always took care of herself with her hair and makeup done. She always looked nice. When she went out shopping, even just to the grocery store, she would change her shirt to a nicer shirt.
So where did I fall astray? At this very moment, I need to color my hair, I need a haircut, and my clothes...well, I need some nice shirts...not just the cheap ones I buy when they are on clearance.
I need to take of myself. I started this by going to the dentist last week and taking care of 2 crowns that I have needed for over 1 1/2 years.
I need to take care of me. And if I have to use the credit card, so be it.
Because I am important too.
My mom taught me that we need to take care of ourselves too. She always took care of herself with her hair and makeup done. She always looked nice. When she went out shopping, even just to the grocery store, she would change her shirt to a nicer shirt.
So where did I fall astray? At this very moment, I need to color my hair, I need a haircut, and my clothes...well, I need some nice shirts...not just the cheap ones I buy when they are on clearance.
I need to take of myself. I started this by going to the dentist last week and taking care of 2 crowns that I have needed for over 1 1/2 years.
I need to take care of me. And if I have to use the credit card, so be it.
Because I am important too.
I love this. I read it on someone's blog, and now I can't remember where I got it from. So if you recognize it, please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due!
***
Mother’s Day can be a tricky thing.
It is a day to honor our mothers, to show them that we love them. All too often though, a card listing the best-mom-in-the-world attributes, or a well-meaning sermon can leave a mom feeling not so special; not the best, and well… guilty.
Guilt is a common feeling among mothers.
We do our best, and yet it never seems to add up to the larger than life Supermom we imagine we should be. Perhaps it’s that we compare our worst to other people’s best, or that we promised ourselves we would be different than our mothers (ha!), or maybe we just feel the enormous amount of responsibility for molding these little beings. It is a big job, worthy of respect and hard work. But if you’ve ever been less than admirable, or your children have, it doesn’t make you a failure as a mother.
You are a good mom, whether you believe it or not.
If you’ve ever stayed up all night with a crying baby, and managed to be showered, fully dressed and chipper the next day, great for you! If however, you were unkempt and irritable the next day (well, let’s face it, it was at least another week), and yet managed to keep said child fed and changed, you are still a good mom.
If you love being at home with your kids, and have your days all planned out, complete with age appropriate activities and lessons scheduled, great for you. But if you’ve ever wished that you could escape the house and the kids and have adult interaction at a paying job, you’re still a good mom.
If you bring your kids to daycare or the babysitter and work hard to pay the bills and feed your family, good for you. But if you’ve ever wished you could just be there for all the little things they do, or if you like your job and you’re grateful to have it, you’re still a good mom.
If you’ve ever held your tongue when you wanted to scream at your child, great for you. But if you’ve ever lost it and screamed at your child… and later had to apologize and really mean it, you’re still a good mom.
If you feed your child three well balanced meals a day (and they eat it!), good for you. But if you let them have cold cereal for dinner because you really don’t know what you’re going to make, and you know they won’t eat half of whatever it would have been anyway, you’re still a good mom.
If you read the suggested 20 minutes+ to your child every day, make sure their homework is done and volunteer at their school, great for you! But if you’re lucky to tell the same story at bedtime, or look in their backpack occasionally, you’re still a good mom.
If you’ve managed to keep all the good things your mom did and not repeat the things that weren’t, congratulations! But if you’ve found yourself saying the EXACT SAME THING your mother did because you now get that it’s just easier, you’re still a good mom.
If you were totally confident and open when having “the talk” with your children, good for you. But if you were freaked out at having to explain everything when you weren’t sure how to, and you weren’t quite ready to, you’re still a good mom.
If your kids still give you hugs and say, “Thank you,” and, “I love you, Mom”, wonderful! But if you’re lucky to get any acknowledgement at all, and get an angry, “I hate you” when you say no, you’re still a good mom.
If you’ve ever taught your children to be honest and trustworthy, and they were when it would have been easy not to be, that’s awesome. But if you’ve caught them in a lie (big or small) and then let them deal with the repercussions, you’re still a good mom.
The list could go on and on. We all have things that we would do better, given the chance, or the energy or the motivation. (They really should sell those last two in bottles.) The time is short though, and for better or worse, we are our children’s mothers.
Whether they’re perfectly clean with organized rooms, or grimy with all the everything strewn across the floor (and playing with the box).
Whether you’ve stayed up late waiting for your teenager to get home, or fell asleep trying.
Whether you’ve had a hard time letting them go, or could hardly wait for them to be in school, or out of the house, you are a good mom.
You are.
Because the thing we all really need most in life is love, and if nothing else, you can LOVE your children;
even when you don’t like them;
even when they’ve made a huge mess (literally or figuratively);
and even when it breaks your heart.
You are a good mom.
And don’t let anyone (including yourself) tell you otherwise.
Happy Mothers Day!
***
Mother’s Day can be a tricky thing.
It is a day to honor our mothers, to show them that we love them. All too often though, a card listing the best-mom-in-the-world attributes, or a well-meaning sermon can leave a mom feeling not so special; not the best, and well… guilty.
Guilt is a common feeling among mothers.
We do our best, and yet it never seems to add up to the larger than life Supermom we imagine we should be. Perhaps it’s that we compare our worst to other people’s best, or that we promised ourselves we would be different than our mothers (ha!), or maybe we just feel the enormous amount of responsibility for molding these little beings. It is a big job, worthy of respect and hard work. But if you’ve ever been less than admirable, or your children have, it doesn’t make you a failure as a mother.
You are a good mom, whether you believe it or not.
If you’ve ever stayed up all night with a crying baby, and managed to be showered, fully dressed and chipper the next day, great for you! If however, you were unkempt and irritable the next day (well, let’s face it, it was at least another week), and yet managed to keep said child fed and changed, you are still a good mom.
If you love being at home with your kids, and have your days all planned out, complete with age appropriate activities and lessons scheduled, great for you. But if you’ve ever wished that you could escape the house and the kids and have adult interaction at a paying job, you’re still a good mom.
If you bring your kids to daycare or the babysitter and work hard to pay the bills and feed your family, good for you. But if you’ve ever wished you could just be there for all the little things they do, or if you like your job and you’re grateful to have it, you’re still a good mom.
If you’ve ever held your tongue when you wanted to scream at your child, great for you. But if you’ve ever lost it and screamed at your child… and later had to apologize and really mean it, you’re still a good mom.
If you feed your child three well balanced meals a day (and they eat it!), good for you. But if you let them have cold cereal for dinner because you really don’t know what you’re going to make, and you know they won’t eat half of whatever it would have been anyway, you’re still a good mom.
If you read the suggested 20 minutes+ to your child every day, make sure their homework is done and volunteer at their school, great for you! But if you’re lucky to tell the same story at bedtime, or look in their backpack occasionally, you’re still a good mom.
If you’ve managed to keep all the good things your mom did and not repeat the things that weren’t, congratulations! But if you’ve found yourself saying the EXACT SAME THING your mother did because you now get that it’s just easier, you’re still a good mom.
If you were totally confident and open when having “the talk” with your children, good for you. But if you were freaked out at having to explain everything when you weren’t sure how to, and you weren’t quite ready to, you’re still a good mom.
If your kids still give you hugs and say, “Thank you,” and, “I love you, Mom”, wonderful! But if you’re lucky to get any acknowledgement at all, and get an angry, “I hate you” when you say no, you’re still a good mom.
If you’ve ever taught your children to be honest and trustworthy, and they were when it would have been easy not to be, that’s awesome. But if you’ve caught them in a lie (big or small) and then let them deal with the repercussions, you’re still a good mom.
The list could go on and on. We all have things that we would do better, given the chance, or the energy or the motivation. (They really should sell those last two in bottles.) The time is short though, and for better or worse, we are our children’s mothers.
Whether they’re perfectly clean with organized rooms, or grimy with all the everything strewn across the floor (and playing with the box).
Whether you’ve stayed up late waiting for your teenager to get home, or fell asleep trying.
Whether you’ve had a hard time letting them go, or could hardly wait for them to be in school, or out of the house, you are a good mom.
You are.
Because the thing we all really need most in life is love, and if nothing else, you can LOVE your children;
even when you don’t like them;
even when they’ve made a huge mess (literally or figuratively);
and even when it breaks your heart.
You are a good mom.
And don’t let anyone (including yourself) tell you otherwise.
Happy Mothers Day!
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