Expectations

We have certain expectations of our children:

• We expect them to go to church.  There have been times in their lives when they were younger that they have said they don’t want to go.  We just say, “I understand, but that’s what we do.”  So when they became teenagers, they know they are going. 
• We expect them to be respectful.  We don’t let them talk bad about people, especially their dad and me.  We are not their friends, we are their parents and deserve respect.  They say Mr. and Mrs. and Brother and Sister.  We try very hard not to let them call adults by their first name.
• We expect them to be present and on time for family prayer and scripture study every morning.  We believe this is a very important commandment which bonds our family together.  If they miss family prayer, they don’t get use of their cell phone that day. It’s great motivation to get them going every morning.
• We expect them to get good grades.  They are very fortunate to all be extremely smart, and there is no excuse for bad grades.  If they are really struggling in a class and not understanding, that is one thing.  But if they are getting bad grades because they are lazy, that is a problem.  I check their grades several times a week, and if they fall below a B-, they lose their electronics until the grades go back up.
• We expect them to fast on Fast Sunday.  This starts when they are little.  When they turn 6, they start fasting one meal, usually lunch.  When they turn 8, they fast both breakfast and lunch.  We talk a lot during they day about what they are fasting for (are they fasting, or are they going hungry).  This may seem a little young, but it gives them a good foundation to stand on when they get older. 
• Basically, we expect them to obey the commandments.  We do work with them and help them understand why, and help them to develop their testimonies.
• We expect them to practice their music instruments.  Thanks to my mother, I play they piano, so I have been able to teach them piano.  They will never be classical pianists, but if they can play the hymns, that is all I want.  They each also play another instrument, thanks to the music program at the schools.  The Teenager played the trumpet for 4 years, and now plays the guitar.  The Artist plays the drums, and is trying to learn the guitar.  The Chocoholic plays the flute.  And when The Princess is old enough, she will get to chose an instrument as well.
• We expect them to help out around the house, including daily chores.  We have a chore chart which lists who has which chores that week, so they know when I say, for example, the table needs to be set, who is responsible for that.  It eliminates a lot of arguing.

What expectations do you have for your children?

There was a family in the store the other day.  They had a 2 year old that was whining and crying.  “I want candy! I want candy!”  And the mom kept telling her no.  I passed them in several aisles and the little girl was still crying.  Finally, the dad said, “We will get some candy when we get to the candy aisle.”  The look on the mom’s face was absolute defeat.  Her husband just undermined her authority, and the child just learned that crying and whining work.  I wanted to go up and first, shake the dad and explain to him what he just did.  And then I wanted to go to the mom and tell her to stick to her guns.

It’s okay to tell your kids no!

Obeying the Commandments

As we were finishing up supper last night (at 5:00), The Teenager remembered that each boy was supposed to bring a dozen cookies to the fireside (which starts at 7:00).  Grrr!

So I jumped up and started making the dough. I scooped up 2 trays and then tasted the dough. It was salty! I looked back over the recipe and realized that with the salt and baking soda, instead of tripling the recipe, I multiplied it by 9. Nine!  Grrrrrrr! I was going to dump it and start over, but The Teenager said we could fix it. So we started gathering up ingredients and mixing.

The Teenager then made an interesting observation. He said, “It’s a good thing we’re Mormons.” I asked him why, and he said because we have a big food storage and had all the ingredients so we could multiply it all by 9. I said it’s not just because we are Mormon, but because we follow the advice of our prophet. But he was right. I had everything I needed.

Sometimes we find that our food storage saves us in the small moments, not just the big ones.  And to me, that can be even more important.