Swimsuits

Yes, they are uncomfortable.  Yes, I'm putting myself on display, so to speak.  I did find a swimsuit that has a higher neckline so I'm not revealing cleavage, and it comes down to mid thigh so I don't have to worry about shaving.

But I still am fat.  I don't look good in a swimsuit.  But I grew up with my mom never wearing a swimsuit.  She didn't like how she looked.  I didn't want that for my kids.  I wanted them to have memories of me at the swimming pool too. 

So when I go to the pool, (and this is kind of awful) but I look around at all the women and as long as there is at least one other woman there who looks worse in her swimming suit than I do, then I'm okay. 

And you know what? 

There always is. 

Actually, there are usually quite a few that look worse than I do.  I'm amazed at how heavy some of these women are and how little fabric they have covering them (just because you can wear a bikini doesn't mean you should!).  But as long as they look worse than I do, then I'm okay being there.  Maybe that's a mean attitude to have, but if it gets me into a swimsuit and gets me to the pool with my kids, then they are happy and that's what it's all about.