Listening

For the last 4 years, I have been very bitter.  Bitter that I had to go to work when The Princess was only 2 years old.  I was able to be home with all 3 of my boys, and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be home with my girl.  But over the years, I have received several revelations.  I have talked about this several times here.   But in the last month, I have come to the biggest revelation of all, which has eased the bitterness.

Heavenly Father knew I was going to have to go to back to work, and he prepared the way for me.  Back in 1998, I was prompted to go back to school.  I didn’t know why at the time.  It took me 2 years, another child, and 2 carpal tunnel surgeries, but I made it through.  I got my Bachelor’s degree. 

And then I didn’t use it.

But, when it was time that I had to go back to work, I had a degree to use.  I didn’t have to go and work at Wal-mart for minimum wage.  I didn’t have to work nights or weekends.  I was able to get a job that paid a decent wage and had decent hours.  And then I was able to negotiate and start doing some work at home. 

My Heavenly Father prepared the way, and I listened.  However, if I hadn’t listened, if I hadn’t gone back to school, I would have been much worse off.  So He did His part, and I did my part.  And I gave it time.  Just like an apple is bitter until it is ripe, I have had enough time to let the bitterness slowly grow into understanding.  And now, I feel healed.