Expectations

We have certain expectations of our children:

• We expect them to go to church.  There have been times in their lives when they were younger that they have said they don’t want to go.  We just say, “I understand, but that’s what we do.”  So when they became teenagers, they know they are going. 
• We expect them to be respectful.  We don’t let them talk bad about people, especially their dad and me.  We are not their friends, we are their parents and deserve respect.  They say Mr. and Mrs. and Brother and Sister.  We try very hard not to let them call adults by their first name.
• We expect them to be present and on time for family prayer and scripture study every morning.  We believe this is a very important commandment which bonds our family together.  If they miss family prayer, they don’t get use of their cell phone that day. It’s great motivation to get them going every morning.
• We expect them to get good grades.  They are very fortunate to all be extremely smart, and there is no excuse for bad grades.  If they are really struggling in a class and not understanding, that is one thing.  But if they are getting bad grades because they are lazy, that is a problem.  I check their grades several times a week, and if they fall below a B-, they lose their electronics until the grades go back up.
• We expect them to fast on Fast Sunday.  This starts when they are little.  When they turn 6, they start fasting one meal, usually lunch.  When they turn 8, they fast both breakfast and lunch.  We talk a lot during they day about what they are fasting for (are they fasting, or are they going hungry).  This may seem a little young, but it gives them a good foundation to stand on when they get older. 
• Basically, we expect them to obey the commandments.  We do work with them and help them understand why, and help them to develop their testimonies.
• We expect them to practice their music instruments.  Thanks to my mother, I play they piano, so I have been able to teach them piano.  They will never be classical pianists, but if they can play the hymns, that is all I want.  They each also play another instrument, thanks to the music program at the schools.  The Teenager played the trumpet for 4 years, and now plays the guitar.  The Artist plays the drums, and is trying to learn the guitar.  The Chocoholic plays the flute.  And when The Princess is old enough, she will get to chose an instrument as well.
• We expect them to help out around the house, including daily chores.  We have a chore chart which lists who has which chores that week, so they know when I say, for example, the table needs to be set, who is responsible for that.  It eliminates a lot of arguing.

What expectations do you have for your children?

Good Moms

There is a quote going around on Pinterest which says, “Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and happy kids.” 

I take issue with that. 

I have clean floors.  My oven is clean (mostly).  I have clean bathrooms.  I have a clean kitchen.  My carpets are vacuumed.  Our bedrooms are clean. 

And my kids are happy.  I am a good mom.

Having happy kids does not mean I have to have a dirty house.  We work together to keep it clean.  We don’t spend all day cleaning, but we do clean everyday.

And we are all happy. 

So don’t try to make me feel guilty for having a clean house. 

If you can’t say something nice…

…don’t say anything at all. 

I love my children, but the thought of doing this for another 12 years is overwhelming. 

Motherhood

A few months ago, I was feeling horrible.  I was struggling with multiple things that were weighing me down and I wasn’t handling them well.  I am sure you could all tell by the tone of my blog.  I know my mom and sisters’ did. 

One morning, the kids had all gone to school and I hopped in the shower.  As the warm (okay, scalding hot) water rushed over me, my tears were released and I bawled and bawled.  The shower is a great place for that because you don’t need a tissue!

Anyway, I was sobbing and mourning over some choices that my son was making.   How was I supposed to go on with my life when I felt like such a total and complete failure as a mother?  My child was choosing a path that was not right.  What if I had just held him a little tighter, or a little longer as a baby? What if I had smiled more and yelled less? What if I had played more and cleaned less? What if.

As I stood there and cried, I asked my Heavenly Father how He could sit back and watch this happen to my child. And then I had a revelation.

It was His son that was causing all this heartbreak.  His son doing this to my son.  His son putting the garbage out into the world and tempting all of His other children, trying to get them to fail.  How many nights has He cried over His son rebelling and causing so much pain?

That really helped me to realize that I am NOT a bad mom. I don’t look at Heavenly Father and think he is a bad father.  He lost 1/3 of children to rebellion. He completely understands the pain and grief that I was feeling.  But I just have to keep trying.  I can’t give up. 

And I didn’t give up.  Things have gotten so much better since that day. My son is back on the right path, making choices that are in line with his upbringing and testimony.  It hasn’t been easy.  He has struggled and had set backs.  But he is going to be okay.  He is even fun to be around again. 

I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy, but I just have to do the best that I can.  And I know that my Heavenly Father will be with me.  Because He loves me.  Of that, I am positive.  He love me, and He loves my children.  And I love my children so very much. 

Not so much joy

The alarm rings at 5:25 and I groan.  My back is killing me, reminding me that I have only been asleep for 5 hours because I had to work until 12:15 last night.  I stumble into the bathroom, hating the glare of the bright light that early in the morning. 

I go downstairs and the house is dark and cold.  But I refuse to the heat on yet.  I'm not ready for that.  I turn on the music and try to wake up while ma.king lunches.  4 lunches this morning.  Every morning.  Day in and day out.  I miss hot lunch!

After breakfast, I try to get kids moving.  The Princess takes another 45 minutes to eat. I am telling her every 5 minutes to hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.  I feel the need to tape myself and just put it on a loop!  Because she takes so long, so we don't have time to do an elaborate hairdo, just a rolled braid.   

As soon as I get them out the door, I have to race out the door too.  I am taking my work to another coworker who lives nearby.  She will take it into the office so I don't have to drive all the way there.  I then go to the gym and work out.  That was frustrating because I'm still trying to learn how to use the complicated treadmill. 

When I get home, the house is dark and cold and quiet and lonely.  I open blinds and get in the shower, missing my family.  How many hours until my kids get home?

Joy

The alarm rings at 5:25, waking me from my slumber. My back aches, as it does every morning. I sit up and pause in the dark while saying my prayers. Finally, I stumble into the bathroom, squinting in the bright light and saying good morning to my sweet husband, who gets up at 5:00.

I go downstairs, and the house is dark and quiet. I turn on lights and music to help wake the children up. I start making lunches while singing “Puppy Love” with Donny Osmond. My youngest two are off track, so I only have 2 lunches to make this morning. And it’s even easier because we have leftovers from supper last night. My teenagers love leftovers. They love cold lunch in general because they get more food and more time to eat than when they have hot lunch. The Doctor makes his own lunch because he likes to make a salad.

Lunches are done, and we have all made our way to the living room. It’s 5:50, time for family prayer. My heart swells with joy as I look around at my family kneeling in a circle. When we are finished, we kiss each other and hug. How I love this time of the morning.

The Doctor leaves, taking The Teenager with him and dropping him off at early morning Seminary, then going on his 50 minute commute to teach high school. How he does it every day is beyond me, but how grateful I am for his willingness.

The rest of the children sit down at the table and we begin reading from the Book of Mormon while I make breakfast. We finished reading it yesterday, so today we begin on 1 Nephi again. “I Nephi, having been born of goodly parents…” There is something comforting about that verse. This begins the 9^th time of reading through The Book of Mormon since I started keeping track in 2005. It gives me sense of fulfillment knowing that I am teaching my children to read the scriptures. The Princess can now read a verse nearly by herself. Joy fills my heart again.

When scriptures and breakfast are over, The Artist goes to shower while The Chocoholic and The Princess go crawl back into bed. I sit on the couch and do my personal scripture reading. I am in Isaiah and struggling. I want to understand, but why so many metaphors? But I know that by reading, someday I will move on to understanding.

The Artist is back, ready for school. It is sprinkling outside, so I offer to give him a ride, but he declines. He enjoys being alone, always has, and even the rain doesn’t bother him. I send him off, and then I get in the shower. The hot water relaxes my back and I feel ready for the day.

I dress and come downstairs. The house is quiet as I walk around opening the blinds, letting the sunlight fill the dark corners. It is supposed to rain most of the day, but for now the sun is shining and I thank my Heavenly Father for my blessings. Joy fills my heart to overflowing as I thank Him for all that I have been given. It is 8:15 and what a wonderful start to my day.

Reflections of Motherhood

Wow.  This video blew me away.  I guess I am feeling a theme this week.

I wish I could go back and raise my kids with the knowledge I have now.  To spend more time just playing with them.  I was always too concerned with keeping the house clean and getting supper ready or scrapbooking or a million other excuses.  I never felt like I was a "fun mom".  I also wish that I had taken more pride in my appearance.  I used being pregnant and having kids as an excuse to let myself go and eat whatever I wanted.  And now I regret it because the habits are ingrained in me.  I wish I could go back and change how I took care of myself and how I took care of my kids.  I just wish I could go back.  But I can't.  I need to let that go.  I did the best I could.

We all are doing the best we can.  And that's okay.

Stages

I'm loving this time in my life.  This stage of my life.  My kids are older and I have more freedom.  I'm busy, but it's a different kind of busy.  During the day they are all at school.  I do have work, but even that is flexible.  It is a slower pace than what I used to have. 

But once they get home, the house comes alive.  I am looking at papers and helping with homework and running them places and getting supper ready.  It's not like when they were little and I was busy all day changing diapers and wiping noses and feeding them.  But in a weird kind of way, I miss that.  My kids don't need me anymore.  Well, they need me, but they don't rely on me to help them with everything. 

But now I am envious of the young mom's in my neighborhood.  When I had young children, the neighborhood we lived in had a lot of teenagers, but no little kids.  I felt very isolated.  And now I feel isolated because we are in a neighborhood that has a lot of little kids, but very few teenagers.  My son is 16 and there are no 16-17 year old girls that go to our ward.  There are very few people my age that have kids my age.  It's a very odd feeling. 

It's a different stage of life and there are pros and cons to it, but there are pros and cons to every stage of life.  For instance, I no longer own a stroller.  And that's a good thing!  I just have to adjust.

Missing

When my children were little, I never missed them. I was fortunate enough to be a Stay-at-Home-Mom.  It was the best job, but the hardest job in the world.  I was around them 24/7.  I rarely got a break.  There were a few times that The Doctor and I got away alone, but money was scarce.  So when I did get away, it was never long enough.  I was never ready to come home. 

One time we got away for a whole week.  I thought about my kids and called them every day, but I enjoyed being away and wasn't ready to go home when the week was over.

Last week, all my children were in school all day long.  It was lovely.  This week was okay.  Friday the three youngest ones went with my parents camping.  The Teenager stayed home, but he had to work and go to his motorcycle class (that's another post). So for all intents and purposes, we were alone.

Saturday morning, I got The Teenager off to class and I didn't want to wake up my hubby, so I stayed downstairs and watched TV in my robe.  Alone.  No phone calls, no cartoons, no arguing.  Just peace and quiet. 

And loneliness.

I missed my kids so much!  I couldn't believe it!  After 18 years, I finally missed my kids.  I wanted to see them, to hug them, and to bring them home.  If I didn't hate camping and bugs so much, I would have gone up to see them.  Finally today they came home and it felt so good. As we sat around the dinner table, my family was complete again and I felt at peace.

So for those of you moms who can't comprehend what I am talking about, I understand.  I was there.  But it will come.  It has for me.  It's a good feeling.

What does Mom know?

Age 4: Mom knows everything!


At 8: Mom knows a lot!

At 12: Mom doesn’t really know everything.

At 14: Mom doesn’t know anything.

At 16: Mom doesn’t exist.

At 18: Mom's just old fashioned.

At 25: Maybe Mom does know about this!

At 35: Before we decide, let’s ask Mom.

At 45: I wonder what Mom thinks about this?

At 65: I wish I could ask my Mom.

Not a good “Mom” day

I blew off my boss yesterday because I had to take care of me (I went and exercised).  So this morning I had to do some work and it was a disaster. I couldn’t figure out where to classify things and I was frustrated that I had to work on Saturday, and then I was frustrated that I had to work at all and I finally got in the shower and had a good cry. But I was still in a bad mood the rest of the day. I tried really hard to snap out of it, but I just couldn’t shake it. It didn’t help that I am super stressed out about money right now.

I made sugar cookie dough and helped The Princess make cookies using her new cookie press. I didn’t want to make them, but I had promised her, so I was stuck doing it. I tried to make it fun for her, but I think I did a lousy job. When we were done, I went and laid down for a while.  We went over to the pool and I was able to just lay there and rest for a while. I also did some reading, and that helped my mood. Unfortunately, I kept thinking about all the things that I should have been doing. 

I also got The Teenager upset at me and the whole day was just shot.  I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed this morning.  Oh yeah, I wouldn’t have gotten up so early if the neighbors across the street hadn’t been out smoking and yelling and swearing up a storm.  I had to get up and shut the windows and blinds, but by then I was awake and thinking about the work that I had to do.

Yeah, here’s hoping tomorrow is a better day.

99 Cool Things to do Before You Die

There are a lot of these lists floating around, but this is the cool list. Which ones have you done?

1. Felt the world shift and change when you held your newborn baby.

2. Thought, "Hey, they didn't tell me about this when I got pregnant."

3. Given away perfectly good pants because they just don't seem to zip up anymore.

4. Walked around with snot on your shoulder and pretended it's normal.

5. Wrestled with a car seat and won.

6. Cursed the makers of really loud annoying toys.

7. Rocked your baby until she fell asleep, and then kept rocking anyway.

8. Gained superhero kissing powers -- you kiss it, it's okay.

9. Learned the art of counting to three, in a loud, patient voice.

10. Avoided swearing like a pirate when a small child stepped on your bare feet with heavy-heeled princess shoes.

11. Dressed up as a butterfly and floated magically around the room with blanket wings.

12. Made a tent out of blankets and chairs and crammed your really large body into it.

13. Learned you really aren't a patient person, but tried to work on it.

14. Listened to really bad, heartfelt, vibrato out-of-control, children's music that for some reason your children love.

15. Succeeded in doing an awesome hairstyle on a squirming, uncooperative child.

16. Decided that bribery really does do the trick.

17. Read a Parenting book and thought, "Do they even have children?"

18. Gotten nothing but lessons in patience and enduring to the end from the past three years of church.

19. Allowed others to think you're crazy as you drive down the road doing the actions to "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed."

20. Smiled and managed not to punch the people without children who give you advice on how to discipline them.

21. Pitied the pioneers, who didn't have movies/television.

22. Thought sadly about landfills, but put it out of your head by remembering what dunking poopy cloth diapers in the toilet is like.

23. Managed to get the grocery shopping done with one or more children in tow.

24. Put yourself in time out.

25. Given up career opportunities, wistfully, but gladly.

26. Thought, "This is so worth it. I have the best job ever."

27. Thought, "This is so not worth it. I quit." But woke up, fixed breakfast and took care of the kids anyway.

28. Heard your child say, "I love you so much!"

29. Watched with delight as your child lurches around the room with their first dinosaur-like steps.

30. Ignored your dirty house to play ponies.

31. Taught a child to use the potty. (And wanted to start an ad campaign with signs posted above every public toilet that read, "If you can use this, thank your mother.")

32. Tried a home business to make just a little extra money.

33. Actually sewn something, that turned out pretty good if no one looked too closely.

34. Played the choo-choo or airplane game to try and convince your child that food is not evil.

35. Slipped, tripped or twisted on a left out toy.

36. Fished pennies/small toys/anything small out of your child's mouth, while keeping the panic at bay.

37. Lost brain cells while watching a Baby Einstien movie.

38. Wondered where the instruction manual is.

39. Thought that you could improve upon the baby design model by adding three lights on the side of each baby-- one for hungry, one for tired, and one for poopy.

40. Listened with chagrin as your child repeats your favorite adjectives.

41. Crept into their room at night, just to make sure the covers are on and that they're still breathing.

42. Thought while breastfeeding, "No wonder people get breast implants. My shirts actually fit."

43. Laughed out loud at the optimistic "6 weeks after birth prognosis" by your male doctor.

44. Learned that you really aren't a pleasant person with only 2 hours of sleep.

45. Tried to explain why clothing is mandatory.

46. Had to eat your words because, "I would never do it that way," but then you do.

47. Called Poison Control.

48. Left the store without buying anything because your child is screaming.

49. Had to apologize to a stranger.

50. Wanted to petition that handicap stalls also be available to mothers with two or more children under the age of six.

51. Said, "That's not funny," when really, if you weren't the parent, it was funny.

52. Felt extreme anger at another child when they hurt your child.

53. Cleaned up throw up more times than you wish to count.

54. Eaten a soggy cracker.

55. Thought sadly of hungry people as you scrapped your child's uneaten food into the garbage.

56. Threatened to do something awful (and untrue) like leave your child at Wal-Mart, or cut off their toe if they didn't stop misbehaving.

57. Even though you vowed never to say it, yelled, "Because I said so."

58. Not left the house for three or more days.

59. Discussed buying stock in paper towels, wipes and diaper companies.

60. Conversed with other adults about poop, drool, and snot.

61. Thought, "My gosh. My children are the most adorable things in the entire world."

62. Smiled when your kids hugged each other.

63. Thrown away Halloween candy (after fishing out all the chocolate bars).

64. Realized the true use of a timer is not for baking.

65. Thought, "Isn't there at least some period of their lives where they adore me and listen to what I say?"

66. Cried and cried, because you feel like you're just not cut out for this sort of thing.

67. Felt triumphant when your child spelled their name without prompting to your now impressed neighbor / relative / friend.

68. Put on boots, coats, hats, gloves and snow pants and just as you're walking out the door hear a rumbling from your child that indicates severe diaper problems, or having your older child say, "I have to go to the bathroom."

69. Realized that children's books are sometimes written for adults.

70. Had to remind yourself not to talk in a sing-songy, supercalm happy voice when speaking to other adults.

71. Sometimes the only constant in your day is that it will eventually end.

72. Discovered that a really childproof room is empty and padded and only exists in insane asylums.

73. Had to backpedal quickly when you told your child not to do something and they said, "But Mommy, you do it."

74. Dug out a sliver.

75. Been ignored. Over and over.

76. Felt that if you get touched one more time you might have to become a hermit.

77. Laughed (with just a bit of hysteria) at the magazine picture of well-behaved children that put together beautiful crafts.

78. Gotten an unexpected kiss and a hug.

79. Had your heart melt when you hear, "Hold me, hold me."

80. Cleaned up a blow-out diaper, and managed to salvage the onesie.

81. Thought, "Oh, my parents were right."

82. Prayed really hard that you're raising them to be good, thoughtful, happy people.

83. Hoped they won't remember the time you accidentally dropped / forgot about them.

84. Hoped they will remember the times you read stories / sang / played with them.

85. Felt like the Wicked Witch of the West.

86. Given an Eskimo kiss.

87. Felt your heart strings tug when they first let go of your hand to venture off on their own.

88. Pretended you liked something just to get your kid to eat / do it.

89. Wore matching outfits with your kids and thought it was awesome.

90. Tried to keep the car nice by not allowing food, then gave up and tossed food randomly at your children in an effort to quiet them.

91. Heard your child yell excitedly, "Mommy!" when you walk into the room.

92. Caused extreme giggling (on purpose).

93. Vanquished a monster with a spray bottle.

94. Answered "Why?" questions with preposterous and crazy answers but still not managed to stop the "Why?"s from coming.

95. Bought a really padded bra for protection from elbows and other stray limbs.

96. Played the, "I'm going to hide in the _____" version of Hide and Seek.

97. Learned to traverse the kitchen with a small child clinging to your legs and the phone on your shoulder.

98. Told yourself, "This is for her good."

99. Known this is the best and hardest job in the world. (But wished for paid time off)

Motherhood

I am a Good Mom, You are a Good Mom!

I never understood how a mother could beat her children…until I had one of my own.  I don’t do well with too little sleep.  Combine that with a newborn baby, and we have a disaster on our hands.

When The Teenager was born, I was privileged to be able to quit work and stay home.  The Doctor was working and going to school.  Because of this, I didn’t feel it was fair to wake him up during the night to help me with the baby.  I became sleep deprived and stressed out.

One night, I couldn’t get The Teenager to go to sleep after a feeding.  He was crying and crying and I couldn’t comfort him.  I got so upset.  I started having horrible feelings of wanting to hurt him.  I mean really hurt him.  I became so scared!

I laid him in his crib and left the room.  I could still hear him crying.  I went into the bathroom and shut the door.  I could still hear him crying.  I turned on the bathtub and finally could not hear him anymore.  I sat down on the edge of the tub and cried and cried and cried.  I knew that if I went back into that room, I would hurt him.  I was devastated. 

How could a mother feel that way towards her own child?  I kept this a secret for years.  I didn’t tell anyone.  I didn’t want them to know what a horrible mother I was.  It wasn’t until I joined an email mommy loop (Hi Tina, Pamm, Tammy, Angie, Melissa, and Lynette!) that I started opening up.  And when I did, I discovered that I was not alone.  They had all felt that way at some point and to some degree.  And the more I talked to other moms, the more I discovered that they had felt the same way too.

My goal for telling you all this is to be honest and open.  If you have never felt this way towards your children, kudos to you.  Please don’t look down on those of us who have.  We are still good moms.  I am very proud of the fact that I never gave in to those feelings. 

So as we celebrate Mother’s Day, give yourself some slack.  Celebrate the fact that you are doing the best you can.  Enjoy a little praise because we all know we don’t get much the rest of the year!  Graciously say “Thank You” when your children say you are the best mommy in the world.  Because you are…to them. 

And while you are all doing that, I am going to try to accept it too.  I am way too hard on myself.  If I keep telling my kids what an awful mother I am, someday they are going to believe it.  I don’t want them to do that.  So I will enjoy the love and attention I get this weekend. 

Happy Mother’s Day to you all!

Run Away

When my kids were little, life sometimes got overwhelming.  I am sure you all can relate.  We all can.  We are not perfect.  We all have faults and trials.

There were days that I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I would get angry and upset and my poor dear hubby would get the brunt of it.  When it would get really bad, I would run away.

I never had the money to run away somewhere fun.  Most times I would walk.  Usually to the elementary school, where I would just sit and think.  Sometimes I would drive.  Out to where there was little traffic, so I could drive and think.  Once I went and bought a book and sat in the parking lot and read for 3 hours.  And thought.

I usually thought about what a horrible mother I was and how much better off my kids and hubby would be without me. I was so hard on myself. 

I never stayed away for long.  I think the 3 hours in the parking lot was the longest.  I always went back.  Reluctantly.  I think 3 days would have been better.  But I couldn’t do that.  So I went home and went back to real life.

I’m not sharing this so you can feel sorry for me.  I am sharing this so you can know you are not alone.  I used to feel that I was the only one that felt this way.  I was supposed to be the perfect mother.  It was what I had always wanted, so why did I feel so awful?

It took me years to discover that most moms struggle with these same feelings.  I wish I had known that.  It would have made life much easier.  We need to talk more as mothers.  Share our faults and struggles so others can learn from them. 

So if you are ever doubting yourself as a wife, a mother, or even just as a woman, call someone.  Call me.  Call anyone.  Just talk about it and discover how “normal” you are.

I have serious issues…

…with “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” 

Grandpa Joe has been in bed for 20 years (along with the 3 other grandparents).  Charlie’s mom has been working her fingers to the bone doing other people’s laundry to provide for all of them. 

After Charlie starts working delivering his newspapers, he buys bread for his family, and then gives money to Grandpa Joe to buy tobacco. 

Really?

And then when Charlie finds the golden ticket, does he ask his mother to go with him to the factory?  No, he asks Grandpa Joe.  Grandpa Joe, who has been in bed for 20 years and couldn’t work, suddenly can walk and dance and get dressed and go to the factory.

I feel sorry for Charlie’s mother. Yes, it’s just a movie.  And now I think I need some therapy!  LOL

I’m Missing my Children!

This afternoon the house was quiet.  It shouldn’t have been.  This is what my kitchen looked like:



Why?  Because it was so warm outside!

I broke my long-standing rule that you do homework before you go out to play.  It was so nice and the sun was so warm, that I sent them out.  They didn’t even ask, I sent them.  I couldn’t stand the thought of making them stay inside when it was warm. 

Now, this won’t become a habit, but when it’s the first really nice, warm day after a long, cold winter, that I had to make an exception.  And they were all very happy!

Life with a Teenager

I am done tonight.
I don’t want to be the mom anymore. 
No, I want to be a mom.  I just don’t want to be the mom of a teenager. 
I remember what I was like as a teenager, and I have one thing to say.
Mom…I am soooooooooooooooooo sorry!

Validation

Everyone wants to be told that they are pretty, or smart, or nice. Even more, we want to be told that we are good moms, and that we are doing a great job with our children, or with our lives.

I couldn't think of anything better for my 400th post than to tell you all that you are doing a great job, and that I love you all. Thank you for being a part of my life.

Wishes

I used to wish that I could listen to the speakers in church.
Now I wish that I had a baby to take out to the hall when a speaker was putting me to sleep.  LOL
I used to wish that I could be done with babies.
Now I wish that I could have more access to a baby to cuddle and hold.  I really miss that.  There are no more babies in our families on either side and with being in Primary, I never get to hold a baby any more.  It's sad.
I used to wish that my mom didn't work so she could baby-sit for me more.  Even though she baby-sat all the time for my brothers, I never liked to ask her because she was always so busy.
Now I wish she she was on the same track as my kids so we could go shopping together and go to lunch more often without kids tagging along!
I used to wish that I had more money to buy scrapbooking supplies.
Now I wish that I could find time to actually scrapbook, now that I have tons of supplies.  When I get the time, I first have to clean off my desk and put away all the stuff that has accumulated in my room.  By the time that is done, I am exhausted and there is no time to scrapbook!
I used to wish that my kids would hurry and grow up.
Now I wish that they were little again and I could go back (with what I know now) and spend more time cuddling and reading and playing with them.  Life goes by so fast!